Jessica
I love you nanny. i wasnt ready for you to go at all. i miss you all the time. i go to call you every morning. i hope that you are at peace. i know that you are in a better place and i know this is selfish of me but i want you back. i want you here with me.. i am trying so hard to do better with my life. there was nothing i did that you would judge me by. the love you had for me was like no other love i could have ever asked for. i was so blessed to have you as my nanny. i miss hearing your voice and feeling your touch. i still have yet to face that you are really gone. i should have called more or wrote more. i was so los for so long. but i am glad that i called and wrote as much as i did. i know your watching over me and everyone. its just not the same without you. it kills me. i am just so lost but i am fighting i am not giving up nary i am going to make you proud and be the red you always said i could be. thank you for always being there no matter what. i love you so much and miss you so much more. there's a hole in my heart nanny and i keep trying to fill it but there's nothing that can fill it.
i remember all the good times we had. i am blessed to have so many good memories. you had such a big heart nanny. you showed me so much. thank you for that, i am blessed to have been able to have that last week with you. going over your life. you telling me stories. watching all the good movies.
you were the keeper of my secrets. i could tell you anything and you would still be proud of me. the love you had for me is like no other. i hope if one day i am blessed to be a grandmother that i can do as good as a job as you. i look up at the stars at time sometime and i wonder what you and poppy are doing if your dancing and laughing.i see the clouds on a nice beautiful day and wonder if you guys and dancing on them.
thank you for always understanding me and NEVER putting me down at all.you and poppy really made my childhood. i miss the holidays that we use to have with you both and all the family at the house in CI.ill never forget those days or any day that i got to spend time with you and poppy.
i just cant believe you are both gone now. it kills me. i miss the both of you so much. you both weren't only my grandparents but you both were also my best friends. there's a big part of me missing now and i don't know how to find it. you both always knew how to talk to me and help me and give me the best advice anyone could have ever asked for.
it took me awhile to be able to write on here. because me writing on here makes it more real.i still cant even delete your cell phone number from my phone. i dont want to. i want you back so bad.but i know that you are happy now. you are with the loe of your life again just like you wanted to be nanny. and your with your kids. as well as your grand babies and your great grand baby. your brother and your mom and dad. as well as everyone else that has passed.
enjoy it up there nanny. love every min of it. and when it comes to my time please be there standing at that gate. with everyone.
i need to stop now cause i could go on forever. i love you and always will love you
love always
your red
as well as your lady bug
jessica
